DC A Winner in Aquaman (sort of)

Aquaman in the film is not exactly the same as I pictured him. I remember a blond god who came from Atlantis to save us from the evil men. The evil men who do things in water. Like Steve who used to piss in the pool when we were kids.

I know it is just hair, but I have an image from my childhood and the series Super Friends of how he looks. But as with everything else in the world today Hollywood likes to change it even when it is not necessary. Or maybe it was necessary. Perhaps there is a shortage of blond gods in Hollywood.

Jason Momoa is okay, but at times he seems kind of dumb. I know that was something addressed in the film, but I never thought of Aquaman as dumb. There are plenty of jokes about Aquaman, but I would never repeat them.

If you have seen the old Flash Gordon film from the 80s, then you will understand what I mean next. There is something cheesy about the Aquaman film, which was similar to Flash Gordon cheese. I think I have figured it out.

In Flash Gordon they are on earth for a bit, which was realistic, but in space it felt as if the fantasy world was made from the fake cheese they put on macaroni. It was the same in Aquaman. There were many scenes on land which felt realistic, but once they went underwater it felt like the cheese from nachos at the cinema. Yes, it was a bit better cheese, but it has been almost 40 years since Flash Gordon. I expected better cheese.

And Flash Gordon gave us this great song.

I think some of the cast was great. Nicole Kidman as the mother of Aquaman was wonderful and should be more highly rated as an actress. Patrick Wilson was surprisingly good as the evil half brother. William Dafoe, Ludi Lin and even Dolph Lundgren did great in their roles. Amber Heard’s character was a bit pointless for me. Do we really need a love interest?

While I am on the ridiculous… Why do films have characters kiss while there is a war going on around them? I long for the day when a couple is kissing during a war and suddenly one of them gets shot and dies. Please make it happen. Also, when there is a takeover on a ship and the father suddenly gives a gift to the son, we know what that means. Why wait until that moment? These things take me out of the imaginary reality I have built for myself when I go to the cinema.

Overall, I am happy that I saw it and I would watch it again, at least once more on the telly. Hopefully, one day they will turn Aquaman back into the useless blond god that he used be.

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